Challenging All or Nothing Thinking During the Holiday Season!
- Tonya Beattie
- Dec 2, 2024
- 2 min read
December, the last month of the year, and often a time that brings a mix of feelings: Excitement to start the new year ahead, or possibly pressure to set new goals (with most of us knowing we won’t achieve them all!), or pride in this year's successes! Conversely, there may be frustration at not having achieved all you planned or feelings of overwhelm for the busy month ahead. At Clarity, we encourage you to challenge the cognitive distortion of “all or nothing” thinking, where our brains like to cast things in extremes –when it seems like there are only two ways things can be. This kind of thinking makes it easy to believe there is no flexibility or ambiguity in a situation, which we know is factually untrue. We can challenge all or nothing thinking by appreciating that the holiday season does not have to be all joy and excitement, or all doom and gloom, but rather a mix that often depends on the minute, hour or day!
Gaining clarity over the holiday season may mean creating the space to be intentional for the month ahead. It’s as simple as saying, “I am going to create some space for reflection, gratitude, intention and letting go this month.” Consider what you can realistically accomplish this month in the different areas of your life. Acknowledging that this month is often busier; and that prioritizing and balancing the needs of others along with your own needs may be necessary.
A practical strategy is to use a calendar to plan your month, ensuring time for both social activities and personal recharge. Aim for balance, and avoid the trap of "all or nothing" thinking—be flexible about attending events or festivities, and give yourself permission to opt out or adjust plans as needed. For invites to holiday events, remember that past choices don’t dictate what you “must” do this year. The goal is to enjoy the season without overburdening yourself. Getting clear about your holiday goals can support you to hold enough space in your December to enjoy this festivities this time of year, AND take care of your mental health.
When creating your plan, catch your All or Nothing thinking and look for some middle ground. Look for a balance between what you consider to be obligations and what part of the season is meaningful for you. When attending events or festivities, give yourself permission to consider how you feel on that day, and remind yourself that you do not have to accept every invitation, and if you choose to attend that you don’t have to stay for the entire duration. If bringing food is a part of the invite, consider if store bought or homemade goods feels right for you.
Finding balance, and avoiding the trap of all or nothing thinking during the holidays is crucial to maintaining your well-being, both physically and mentally. Remember, the holidays are about connection, love, and joy—not perfection. So, take care of yourself, make a plan for the month ahead, and make space for rest and relaxation for this December holiday season!
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